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By Kathy McGuire, September 24, 2008 3:08 pm

FREE DOWNLOADS:

Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages)

Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual

“Ajas” Instantaneos Mini-Manual

 In the First Week of this four weeks practice of Instant “Ahah!” #1: FOCUSING — Find Out What Is Bothering You, I introduced Gendlin’s Six Step Focusing Process and gave the Complete Focusing Exercise. If you are just joining us, go to e-newsletter archive to read this blog before proceeding so you will understand the basic steps of Focusing and prepared to do the practice exercise below.

It may help to view the Six Steps of Focusing just like any “recipe” that you try to follow — in baking a cake, learning to hit a tennis ball, turning on a complicated piece of machinery. Each Step is a specific activity that you do, like “break open the eggs, then separate the whites from the yolks” or “First, pump up the oil, then set the choke, then turn on the ignition.”

You have to know how to do each action before you can carry out the recipe and get to the goal. After you have done the recipe a lot of times, you can go very smoothly and even make your own intuitive adjustments.

But we are not used to “inner actions,” knowing lots of different activities we can carry on inside. So, in learning Focusing, you are learning a set of actions to take inside of yourself:

(1) Clearing A Space: Using a relaxation technique, a guided fantasy, or a formal Taking an Inventory exercise to go from the intellectualization and tension of the day into a more peaceful contact with your body and its wisdom

(2) Getting A Felt Sense: Now, having set aside everything you already know, you ask an Open-Ended Question, like “How am I today?” or “What am I carrying?” , or, if you have chosen a specific issue to work on, “What is this all about?”, AND THEN YOU PAUSE AND WAIT, FOR AS LONG AS A MINUTE, FOR THE VAGUE, PREVERBAL, SUBTLE “BODILY FELT SENSE” OR “INTUITIVE FEEL” OF AN ISSUE OR IDEA TO ARISE.

This “pausing” and paying attention for the preverbal “feel” is a totally new Inner Activity, one that anyone hardly ever does until they learn Intuitive Focusing, and the actual way to access The Creative Edge, the “bodily feel” that is the wellspring of the “new.”

(3) Finding A Handle: In this Inner Activity, you look for words or an image or a gesture that begins to capture the “quality” (“jumpy,” “black,” “a concrete block,” “sad,” “all knotted up,” “joyful,”) of the”felt sense.”

(4) Resonating And Checking: And, in order to find the exactly right symbolizations to capture this new Creative Edge, you have to GO BACK-AND-FORTH BETWEEN ANY SYMBOLS AND THE “INTUITIVE FEEL” UNTIL YOU FIND THE SYMBOLS THAT ARE “EXACTLY RIGHT,” EXPERIENCED AS A PHYSICAL RELEASE OF TENSION, A LARGE OR SMALL “AHAH! THAT IS IT EXACTLY, FROM YOUR BODY.

(4) Asking: Asking open-ended questions of the “intuitive feel” (“And what is so hard about that?” or “And why is this so important to me?” or “And what is the crux of that anger?” and, again, doing the Inner Actions of Steps 2, 3, and 4 :Pausing to get a Felt Sense, looking for Handle words or images, and Resonating and Checking until the body says, through tension release, “Yes, that is exactly it.” The open-ended question allows a new “felt sense” to form in response, during the pause, and further unfolding happens through resonating and checking.

Inner Actions repeated over and over: Asking, PAUSING, looking for Symbolizations, Checking and Resonating whatever comes until the body says “Yes! That is it.”

(5) Receiving: after a “felt shift,” a step of unfolding or “Ahah!,” stopping just for a moment and letting the new realization “sink in.” Pausing to let the new information get “lived into” by your body, taking it in at a cellular level. And appreciating your body, so often ignored and turned away from during the usual day, for sharing its wisdom with you.

And, then, if you like, you can start another cycle of the Inner Actions of Focusing, looking for further unfolding on the issue or idea: Asking, Pausing for Felt Sense, Looking for Handle symbols, Resonating and Checking until the body-sense says, “Yes, that is exactly right.”

You can try out Intuitive Focusing and receive a Listening Response by joining The Creative Edge Practice e-group here.

INSTANT “AHAH!” # 1 Focusing: Find Out What Is Bothering You

Focusing On the Creative Edge

And here, again, is your practice exercise. Please take time to walk through the Complete Focusing Session in this blog.

Tell me what you think at cefocusing@gmail.com or comment on this blog below !

Click here to subscribe to our Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!!

Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-E-course

 See Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

See Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

www.cefocusing.com

Comments (2)

By Kathy McGuire, September 22, 2008 11:42 am

Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages)

Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual

“Ajas” Instantaneos

Some people find it easy to drop all their stress and enter into an interior Focusing space. But, many people need easy first steps of practice for “going quietly inside.” And even experienced Focusers get caught up in stress and business and welcome a reminder to take a moment to….pause…..(sigh!)…pay attention to their breathing…….(ahhhhhh!)……and…relax…

While many people use meditation techniques as an end in themselves, a way of healing mind and body, we are using them as a way of “clearing a space” in the body for the specific problem-solving process of Intuitive Focusing.

FREE MEDITATION EXPLANATIONS AND PRACTICE ON THE WEB!

Just “Google” “meditation techniques” and a number of excellent websites offering free explanations and practice exercises will pop up. In general, meditation is a way of escaping from and stilling the endless “go-around” of our thoughts and worries, the endless activity of “the monkey mind.” Our Noticing Your Breathing exercise, as a form of “clearing a space” for Focusing, is similar to this breathing process described at the free Meditation Handbook website, which explains seven basic approaches:

“Another useful method is to lend special awareness to the breathing process felt in the belly. Just behind and below your navel (belly button) lies the hara, which is felt as an ethereal ball of energy. The hara is a natural balancing point of your consciousness which can be thought of as the center of your being. Subjectively and poetically speaking, the hara is where man and universe meet. It is the gateway where we merge and become man-universe and universe-man. No one really knows what the hara actually is, but we can use it to our full advantage. Consciously developing a powerful hara center is the most important secret of meditation.

When your consciousness is centered in the hara instead of the head, your thinking process slows down and you can relax in the expanded world of being. Trying to stop distracting thoughts through will power alone leads to more thoughts and a self-defeating inner struggle. By transferring your center of awareness to the hara, thoughts gradually disappear on their own without inner conflict. That is why you see Buddha statues with a big belly. It is an esoteric message that the hara is the key to meditation.

Sit quietly and focus on your belly as it moves in and out as you breathe. Over time the hara point will become more noticeable as your meditation grows stronger. Sudden emergencies, such as near collisions on the highway, tend to activate the hara center. We often get a “gut reaction” from sudden danger. You can nourish the feeling of the hara by simply paying passive attention to it. This relaxed concentration is very close to doing nothing, yet it is still a subtle effort. Drinking herb tea or hot water before meditation sessions relaxes the gut and facilitates awareness of the hara. Overeating and consuming cold drinks tends to make hara awareness more difficult.”

The bolding is mine, showing how this meditation practice is seen as strengthening your ability to notice “gut feelings,” “intuitions,” a great companion to Intuitive Focusing.

If you are really intrigued, you can go to Free Meditations website and find several different versions of a Buddhist breath meditation and many, many more meditation techniques.

And, last but not least, at The Meditation Society website, you can find links to 108 different meditations on the web!

But we are using meditation as a first step, a way of opening up enough “free attention” in the body for the deeper process of Intuitive Focusing, which involves a more active back-and-forth between the “intuitive feel” of an issue or idea and symbolizations (words, images, gestures) that arise from it.

Print and Practice!!!!!

Here is your relaxation exercise for this month. Print it out, keep it handy, and take those few moments to relax every day, if you can, or as often as possible.

If you order our Self-Help Package, , you can listen on audio CD Intuitive Focusing: Disk one, Track 2, with Dr, McGuire’s peaceful voice to keep you company — and help you stay on track!!

PRE-FOCUSING PRACTICE
A. RELAXATION SUGGESTIONS (from Complete Focusing Instructions, which you can download from the link at the top of this blog)

The quiet time between instructions is an important time for just breathing—and relaxing.

You can lie on the floor or, for most exercises, sit in a chair. If you fall asleep, it’s okay! Means you need more rest! But you may also want to practice sitting up to avoid sleeping.

Especially at the beginning, time those “1 minute” pauses for breathing in—and out— You will be amazed at how long a minute is, how seldom we ever pause for a whole minute!!!

1. Noticing-Allow 10-15 minutes

Lie down and make yourself comfortable—Loosen any clothing that is too tight—
Massage your own neck and face, making small circles with your fingertips over small areas at a time—Find at least five different spots on your neck and five on your face to massage in this way— Feel the tension leaving—
1 minute
Stretch your whole body three times, reaching your arms out over your head, arching your back, and pointing your toes— After each stretch, collapse into the floor and breath deeply, relaxing—stretch—and relax—stretch—and relax—stretch—and relax
10 seconds
Now, lie there and notice your breathing. Don’t try to change it,just notice the breath going in and out—in—and out—in—and out—in—and out
10 seconds
Now, begin to notice any thoughts or pictures you are having. JUST NOTICE THEM—and keep breathing, in—and out—in—and out—
1 minute
Just notice your thoughts going by, like a movie—don’t think or problem solve—just notice—and keep breathing, in—and out—in and out—
1 minute
If you realize that you have started thinking about something and are trying to solve a problem or have started worrying about something, just allow yourself to leave that thought and to come back to noticing your breathing, going in—and out—in—and out—
1 minute
If you have started thinking and problem solving, just leave that thought—and come back to noticing your breath, going in—and out—in—and out—
1 minute
Just noticing your thoughts, like a movie, letting them go, returning to noticing your breath, going in—and out—in—and out
3 minutes
Now, massage any parts of your body that seem tense or uncomfortable—
1 minute
Stretch one more time, and get up when you are ready.

Free Resources

Want to share your experience, do Focusing online and get an actual Listening Response, ask questions? Join The Creative Edge Practive yahoo e-support group.

Tell me what you think at cefocusing@gmail.com or comment on this blog below !

Click here to subscribe to our Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!!

Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-E-course

 See Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

See Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

www.cefocusing.com

Comments (0)

By Kathy McGuire, September 19, 2008 11:49 am

Download   Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages) 

In the First Week of this four weeks practice of Instant “Ahah!” #1: FOCUSING — Find Out What Is Bothering You, I introduced Gendlin’s Six Step Focusing Process and gave the Complete Focusing Exercise. If you are just joining us, go to blog Complete Focusing Session before proceeding so you will understand the basic steps of Focusing and prepared to do the practice exercise below.

In my personal/work life, I am caught up in a situation generating a lot of anxiety. I often use the Relaxation: Noticing Your Breathing exercise to help break through the wall of anxiety so that I can fall asleep or, at other times, to “Clear A Space” for a deeper Focusing Turn.

I also sometimes add the basic energy meridian tapping sequence from Emotional Freedom Techniques (www.emofree.com  ), another free self-help method which often allows the deep sighs and tension release of the relaxation response.

And, really most successfully, I turn to The Creative Edge Practice E-Group — just knowing there are Listeners out there in cyberspace usually allows me to shift immediately from overwhelming anxiety to relieving tears, even sobbing, about the deeper fears and issues underlying the anxiety. As actual research with brain waves and galvanic skin response (GSR) has shown, simply using Focusing to find a “name,” to find words and images for what the body is carrying subconsciously, actually brings about relaxation. It is better to know what you are facing, even if the words seem bad to others!

Here is a recent example of a Focusing Turn on “Debilitating Anxiety” which I did on The Creative Edge Practice E-Group, getting a lot of “felt shifting” and release of my anxiety (and the ability to sleep for two nights after the Turn) as well as, in a few hours, several comforting, empathic Listening Responses from group members throughout the world. I include only a small part of the Turn, demonstrating the initial shift from “free-floating anxiety” to relieving tears and sobbing as words come as a “Handle” on the felt sense:

Hello, Group,

I am suffering from “debilitating anxiety,” frozen neck and shoulders and jaw, sleeplessness or restless sleeping. I am reaching out to your friendly comfort in hopes of “touching” the edge of this anxiety, and allowing it to unfold its message. I find anxiety especially difficult to “disidentify from”, when trying to do Focusing alone, so I reach for your compassion — just knowing you are out there usually helps!

So,  I am stopping to “sense in,” to try to stand at the edge of this anxiety, instead of being paralyzed inside of it — I imagine I will do some Clearing A Space, naming the various issues I am carrying, seeing which wants attention — or perhaps not! We’ll see what happens in this non-linear Focusing process! But, first, just turning toward my body with some noticing of my breathing as a way to come into my body, and with the general Focusing question, “What is this ‘anxiety’ all about?” —

(eyes closed, sigh, breathing—) Words come up almost immediately, with tears (and the words completely surprise me!): “I feel so alone. I am so lonely.” (sobbing comes, as I ask myself, “What is this lonely?” and wait for the fuller “felt sense” of “it all” to come —so I am asking, “What is this sobbing about lonely, and related somehow to anxiety? (still surprised at the words) (more sobbing, don’t know “why”) —anxiety is somehow related to “feeling so lonely” — “What is ‘all of this’?” and Focusing on the “feel of it all” —

Some thinking comes: “Perhaps it is the sense of ‘battle’ involved in a lot of work and family things on my plate — the “uphill struggle” so commonly created around herself by an 8 on the Enneagram: The Challenger — hostility all around — so, I will stop and do Focusing, sensing into what comes in the ‘center of my body’ in response to this ‘guess’ —

(deep breath, quiet pause for inner ‘reflection’) —(shoulders go up and down in spasm of “fear” — so I decided to “accentuate,” to repeat this body motion, see if something comes as a “felt sense,” larger “feel” of “all of that fear in my shoulders) — (lots of sobbing comes as I repeat this “spasm of fear” and the words, again, “I feel so alone; I am so alone” (“What is this ‘alone’?, I ask myself. These words still surprise me) —

(long pause for Focusing on the “feel of it all”)— Words: “It seems, or perhaps, it is that I am seeing negative possibilities in areas where other people don’t want to think about them or hear about them, and this leaves me alone with my fears, perhaps” — knowing this is just a “guess,” again, I will stop and “resonate” these words against the “bodily felt sense” that is MORE than any of these words — “Is it that?”, I ask, and wait quietly, reflecting inward, and see what comes —–

(big sigh, breath, and another) — (moving my head back and forth on my neck rapidly, trying to break through this tension) —(big breath) — (shoulders spasming again) —

“And isn’t this what I always do, catastrophize, intuit the worst that can happen — and sometimes I am right, sometimes wrong (and these new words come) — but always I am prepared! I am prepared for the worst! Prepared for the battle, the disillusionment, the failure —- (big sigh)

This is just the beginning, but you can see how quickly the even distant presence of Listening Others helped me to “relate to” the anxiety, instead of being frozen inside it, and allowed new steps of forward motion, of intuitive problem solving to arise.

You can explore joining The Creative Edge Practice e-group here.

INSTANT “AHAH!” # 1 Focusing: Find Out What Is Bothering You

Focusing On the Creative Edge

And here, again, is your practice exercise. Please take time to walk through the Complete Focusing Session as I did in the example above. You will find it in this blog, along with the opportunity to download the Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual in English or Spanish.

Free Resources

Want to share your experience, do Focusing online and get an actual Listening Response, ask questions? Join The Creative Edge Practive yahoo e-support group.

Tell me what you think at cefocusing@gmail.com or comment on this blog below !

Click here to subscribe to our Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!!

Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-E-course

 See Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

See Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

www.cefocusing.com

Comments (1)

By Kathy McGuire, September 18, 2008 1:45 pm

 Download  Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages)    

GETTING A “FELT SENSE,” AN “INTUITIVE FEEL”

Gendlin’s Focusing (Bantam, 1981, 1984), and my Intuitive Focusing, is a procedure for going back-and-forth between the bodily-feel of an issue or idea or creative project and words/images/gestures until symbolizations are found which are “just right” in capturing this “intuitive feel” of “the whole thing. In this series of blogs, I am teaching you the six steps of the Focusing process (see blog Complete Focusing Session for a sample Focusing Session).

In the first Step of Focusing, you “Clear A Space” with relaxation or other exercises, setting aside already-known intellectualizations and coming in touch with your body. See Relaxation #1 Noticing for a sample relaxation exercise.

In the second Step of Focusing, Getting A Felt Sense, you wait quietly, for as much as a minute, for a subtle “feel” of the whole thing, an “intuition,” to form in the center of your body. Then, you create words or images that are just right to capture it. You are looking for the “intuitive feel,” the Creative Edge, the right-brain information that is more than you can put into words. Gendlin (Focusing, Bantam, 1981, 1984) calls it “the felt sense” of the whole thing.

In this Pre-Focusing Practice exercise, I try to give you guided imagery that will evoke some strong, hard-to-miss bodily “felt senses.”

Especially at the beginning, time those “1 minute” pauses for breathing in—and out— You will be amazed at how long a minute is, how seldom we ever pause for a whole minute!!!

You can lie on the floor or, for most exercises, sit in a chair. If you fall asleep, it’s okay! Means you need more rest! But you may also want to practice sitting up to avoid sleeping.

1. The “Intuitive Feel” of Each Person-Allow 10 minutes
(Joan Klagsbrun invented this exercise)

I’m going to invite you to imagine two doors. Behind the first will be someone that you feel good about. Behind the second will be someone who upsets you.

You will notice that you have a different experience of each person in the center of your body, around the chest and heart area. This experience, this “intuitive feel” without words, is the Creative Edge.

Although initially this experience comes as an “intuition,” or a “feeling,” without words, by paying attention to this “intuitive feel,” you can create many new words and images, truly innovative ideas.

—Close your eyes and get comfortable—loosen any clothing that is too tight—
1 minute
—Just follow your breathing for a little while, noticing the breath going in—and out—
1 minute
—Now take a few moments to think about who the two people will be, one that you feel good about, one who upsets you.
1 minute
—And think about the kind of door you’ll put each behind, the decorations, color — 30 seconds

—Now, imagine yourself walking up to the first door and opening it—Here is the person that you feel good about—10 seconds

—Let yourself notice the “feel” of that person in your body—10 seconds

—Find some words or an image to describe it—30 seconds

—Next, bid that person “Goodbye,” close the door, and walk away—10 seconds

—Now, imagine yourself walking up to the other door and opening it—Here is the person who upsets you—10 seconds

—Again, notice the “experience” of that person in the center of your body, the “intuitive feel—10 seconds

—Find some words or an image to describe it—30 seconds

—Next, bid that person “Goodbye,” close the door, and walk away—10 seconds

—Now, spend a few moments comparing the two “felt senses,” the good feelings and the uncomfortable feelings — 30 seconds

—These are the “bodily felt senses,” the “intuitive feel” you have, of the two people involved. They are more than you could ever put into words, but you can make many words and images from them—30 seconds

— Spend as long as you wish exploring these two experiences, going back and forth between the two “intuitive feels” and looking for words or images to describe the difference—
3 minutes
—And when you are ready, slowly bring your attention back into the room.

DOWNLOAD COMPLETE FOCUSING INSTRUCTIONS MANUAL FROM LINK AT TOP OF THIS BLOG

Remember, it can be much easier to learn Intuitive Focusing in the company of a Focused Listener. You can learn all about Focusing Listening, and find resources, at the website for Creative Edge Focusing (TM), www.cefocusing.com . And you will find additional Complete Focusing Instructions, for personal growth, creativity, and spirituality, in the Instant “Ahah!”s Mini-Manual, available along with newsletter subscription.

If you subscribe to our e-newsletter, you will receive three exercises a week by email to help you learn and practice Listening and Focusing at home and work.

Click here to subscribe to our Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!!

Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-E-course

 See Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

See Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

www.cefocusing.com

Comments (1)

By Kathy McGuire, September 15, 2008 1:38 pm

EXAMPLE OF A COMPLETE FOCUSING TURN 

In the First Week of this four weeks practice of Instant "Ahah!" #1: FOCUSING --- Find Out What Is Bothering You, I introduced Gendlin's Six Step Focusing Process and gave the Complete Focusing Exercise. If you are just joining us, go to blog Intuitive Focusing to read this e-newsletter before proceeding to read the example of a Focusing Turn below: 

I did a Focusing Turn in The Creative Edge Practice E-Group (join here)  on a felt experience which I call "Experiencing The Sacred":   

// Note: Listening/Focusing does not have to be used in relation to spiritual experience -- this is just a special interest of mine, and not central to Gendlin's Focusing process and the use of The Creative Edge Pyramid of skills and applications at home and at work---//  

Step One: Clearing A Space 

(closing my eyes, turning inward---slowing down, paying attention to my breathing) --- Breathing in --- and out---- in---and out--- Massaging my face, neck shoulders. Taking a minute or two to come in touch with my body. 

Step Two: Getting A Felt Sense   

Now I start looking for the "intuitive feel" to form for the Focusing question: "What is this 'whole thing' about Experiencing The Sacred)------  

------(Focusing inward at least a minute, waiting for the "felt sense," the "intuitive feel" of "this whole thing" to form, as a vague, preverbal sensing inside my chest area---) 

Step Three: Finding A Handle  

Initial words come: "Someone asked me why I have used religious or spiritual  terms, like Agape, the Christ-within-the-Other, the Universal Oneness, in pointing to the Sacred experience that I often have during Listening/Focusing turns, especially when the Focuser touches upon a "sheen of tears," a place of profound meaning (see my article "Being Touched and Being Moved"), and I am the Listener, and, suddenly, the boundary between us dissolves and I feel that"our souls are touching" or some such thing---hard to find words to describe it---I am pointing 

Step Four: Checking and Resonating 

(quiet to check with the "felt sense," the "intuitive feel" of this "whole thing"--- "Do those words fit? 'Our souls are touching, boundary dissolves'?" (sitting quietly with "the feel of it all," going back-and-forth between words and images or gestures which arise, checking and resonating, trying to find the symbolizations that are "just right" in capturing "the feel of it all")---   

---The person and I spoke of Martin Buber's "I -Thou" vs. "I-It" distinction as another way of pointing to this experience---(pause to look for words--- new words) this experience of merging-without-joining, union-with-separation, and, not just the two people, but the sense of "something more" in that moment of "soul-touching (soul is not the right word, just a pointing word)"---the sense that The Sacred (again, pointing words---) enters in---the two people hanging together in this larger

---(I'm getting a thrill here, a little teary---almost goose bumps)------(big breath---ahhhhhh!) 

(new steps forward, "felt shifts" coming as I find words that are closer in grasping and articulating the "felt meaning" -- the Ahhh!, sighs, deep breaths that indicate the tension release and "Ahah!" experience of the "felt shift," the Paradigm Shift) 

Step Five: Asking An Open-Ended Question

(and I ask myself, "What is so important about this 'two people hanging together in this larger Something'?" and wait quietly for the "feel of it all" to emerge, preverbally in my body, Getting The Felt Sense, before I again begin looking for Handle Words and Resonating and Checking---pause for "felt sensing", as much as a minute, followed by more symbolizations, more resonating and checking between the symbols and the "feel of it all")    

--- and the words "Well, that is the point---it is that experience that I call Experiencing The Sacred---that sense that something else enters into the "energy" (just a pointing word) space between us------(breath---sigh---a little teary as in "touched and moved"------(big sigh---) 

Step Six: Receiving  

(and I sit with and savor this new insight, that it is exactly the two people and Something More in the space between that feels Sacred, touches me so deeply, and some Global Application comes after the Felt Shift --- seeing new connections)

--- And it can happen in nature, with a sunset, with music, in churches or other sacred spaces, many different roads, not just between people--- (and I spend some time just letting the richness of the felt shift, the new information, register throughout my body/mind, and thanking my body-sense for this new information). End of Focusing Turn

FELT SHIFTING, GIVING BIRTH TO THE NEW 

You can see how, instead of answering immediately from my head, what I already know about "experiencing the Sacred" ("Well, of course, it's related to Martin Buber and it's about Something Greater Than Yourself," etc.), Focusing allows me to stop and "sit with" my larger "whole-body-wisdom" that includes everything I have read and everything I have experienced and am experiencing. 

From this "felt sense" I can articulate new facets of the experience. And I also experience the sense of "sureness," of experiential rather than merely intellectual insight, that lets me know I am on the right track.  Of course, Focusing can be used for all kinds of problem solving without entry into the spiritual realm, without touching on tears and feeling connection with the Other---this Experiencing the Sacred is just a special Interest Area of mine-

Subscribe To E-Course For Weekly Practice Exercises

Click here to subscribe to our Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!!

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops Dr. Kathy McGuire, DirectorCreative Edge Focusing (TM)www.cefocusing.com 

Comments (2)

By Kathy McGuire, September 6, 2008 1:58 pm

From Creative Edge Focusing: This week’s Relaxation Exercise

Some people find it easy to drop all their stress and enter into an interior Focusing space. But, many people need easy first steps of practice for “going quietly inside.” And even experienced Focusers get caught up in stress and business and welcome a reminder to take a moment to….pause…..(sigh!)…pay attention to their breathing…….(ahhhhhh!)……and…relax…

Print and Practice!!!!!

Here is your relaxation exercise for this week, which we will actually practice for four weeks until it becomes natural to you. Print it out, keep it handy, and take those few moments to relax every day, if you can, or as often as possible. Relaxing is one way to “clear a space” inside for a longer-term Focusing Problem Solving session (see blog  Focusing: Find Out What Is Bothering You  for a complete introduction to Focusing) .

You will also find this in the Complete Focusing Instructions download at Creative Edge Focusing, p.3: Pre-Focusing Practice A. Relaxation Suggestions #1: Noticing. You get it by joining our e-support group for further support in practicing Listening and Focusing.

And, if you order our Self-Help Package, you can listen on audio CD Intuitive Focusing: Disk one, Track 2, with Dr, McGuire’s peaceful voice to keep you company — and help you stay on track!!

PRE-FOCUSING PRACTICE

A. RELAXATION SUGGESTIONS (from Complete Focusing Instructions)

Use a gentle, slowly-paced voice, leaving time as suggested between parts of the instruction (time those 1 minute pauses — they are way longer than you can imagine!). The quiet time between instructions is an important time for just breathing—and relaxing.

You can lie on the floor or, for most exercises, sit in a chair. If you fall asleep, it’s okay! Means you need more rest! But you may also want to practice sitting up to avoid sleeping.

Especially at the beginning, time those “1 minute” pauses for breathing in—and out— You will be amazed at how long a minute is, how seldom we ever pause for a whole minute!!!

I turn to this simple relaxation exercise when I am having trouble sleeping or am otherwise overwhelmed with stress, anxiety, tension. It is a great first step to a more lengthy Complete Focusing session.

1. Noticing-Allow 10-15 minutes

Lie down and make yourself comfortable—Loosen any clothing that is too tight—
Massage your own neck and face, making small circles with your fingertips over small areas at a time—Find at least five different spots on your neck and five on your face to massage in this way— Feel the tension leaving—
1 minute
Stretch your whole body three times, reaching your arms out over your head, arching your back, and pointing your toes— After each stretch, collapse into the floor and breath deeply, relaxing—stretch—and relax—stretch—and relax—stretch—and relax
10 seconds
Now, lie there and notice your breathing. Don’t try to change it,just notice the breath going in and out—in—and out—in—and out—in—and out
10 seconds
Now, begin to notice any thoughts or pictures you are having. JUST NOTICE THEM—and keep breathing, in—and out—in—and out—
1 minute
Just notice your thoughts going by, like a movie—don’t think or problem solve—just notice—and keep breathing, in—and out—in and out—
1 minute
If you realize that you have started thinking about something and are trying to solve a problem or have started worrying about something, just allow yourself to leave that thought and to come back to noticing your breathing, going in—and out—in—and out—
1 minute
If you have started thinking and problem solving, just leave that thought—and come back to noticing your breath, going in—and out—in—and out—
1 minute
Just noticing your thoughts, like a movie, letting them go, returning to noticing your breath, going in—and out—in—and out
3 minutes
Now, massage any parts of your body that seem tense or uncomfortable—
1 minute
Stretch one more time, and get up when you are ready.

Subscribe To E-Course For Weekly Practice Exercises

If you subscribe to our e-newsletter, you will receive three exercises a week by email to help you learn and practice Listening and Focusing at home and work.

Click here to subscribe to our Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!!

Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-E-course

 See Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

See Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

www.cefocusing.com

Comments (4)

By Kathy McGuire, September 5, 2008 3:38 pm

“Ajas” Instantaneos Mini-Manual         Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual

You can download the complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, ten Listening/Focusing exercises for immediate application at home and work, in English or Spanish, from the links to Word files above. 

If you purchase The Self-Help Package multi-media package, instead of just reading, you can listen to the Pre-Focusing and Focusing Instructions directly with Dr. McGuire on audio CD and watch Listening/Focusing demonstrations on the DVD-R. In the Spanish version of the manual, Focusing En Comunidad, you will find many of the Relaxation and Focusing Exercises in Spanish. You will also receive instructions on setting up a Focusing Partnership or Focusing Group to practice the equal exchange of Listening/Focusing turns.

INSTANT “AHAH!” # 1 Focusing: Find Out What Is Bothering You

Focusing On the Creative Edge

Intuitive Focusing is one-half of the two Core Skills basic to Creative Edge Focusing. Intuitive Focusing can be used any time to find out what is bothering you. Intuitive Focusing involves spending time with the vague, wordless “intuitive sense” that there is something — something you can’t quite put your finger on or put into words — but something definitely determining your behavior or how you feel or the inkling of an idea or solution —

Intuitive Focusing can be used not just for personal problem-solving but for sitting with The Creative Edge of anything: a piece of creative art or writing, an exciting professional problem to solve, a good feeling that has a spiritual edge —see Focusing and Personal Growth, Focusing and Creativity and Focusing and Spirituality described on The Creative Edge Focusing website.

Description of Gendlin’s Six Step Focusing Process

First, I will describe Gendlin’s (Focusing, Bantam, 1981, 1984) process, then I will walk you through some actual instructions below. Here are Gendlin’s six steps for use of this inner, meditation-like problem-solving process in a self-help way:

(1) Clearing a Space: setting aside the jumble of thoughts, opinions, and analysis we all carry in our minds, and making a clear, quiet space inside where something new can come.

(2) Getting a Felt Sense: asking an open-ended question like “What is the feel of this whole thing (issue, situation, problem)?” and, instead of answering with one’s already-known analysis, waiting silently as long as a minute for the subtle, intuitive, “bodily feel” of “the whole thing” to form.

(3) Finding a Handle: carefully looking for some words or an image that begin to capture the “feel of the whole thing,” the Felt Sense, The Creative Edge: “It’s ‘jumpy;'” “It’s scared;” “It’s like the dew of a Spring morning;” “It’s like macaroni and cheese — comforting,” “It’s like jet propulsion! Something new that needs to spring forth!”

(4) Resonating and Checking: taking the Handle words or image and holding them against the Felt Sense, asking “Is this right? Is it ‘jumpy’?, etc. Finding new words or images if needed until there is a sense of “fit”: “Yes, that’s it. Jumpy.”

(5) Asking: asking open-ended questions (questions that don’t have a “Yes” or “No” or otherwise fixed or “closed” answer) like “And what is so hard about that?” or “And why does that have me stuck?” or “What was so beautiful about that moment?” or “And how does this apply to everything else?” and, again, instead of answering with already-known analysis, waiting silently for the whole-body-sense, the Felt Sense, to arise.

At each Asking, the Focuser also goes back to steps (2), (3) and (4) as necessary, waiting for the Felt Sense to form, finding Handle words, Resonating and Checking until there is a sense of “fit”: “Yes, that’s it.” This often physically-felt experience of tension release and easing in the body, this sense of having found the right words, is called a Felt Shift by Dr. Gendlin. Dr. McGuire calls it a Paradigm Shift It can be a small step of “Yes, that’s it” or a larger unfolding, a huge insight, with many pieces of the puzzle suddenly falling into place and a flow of new words and images and possible action steps. Sometimes there is also a flood of tears of acknowledgment and relief or the release of other pent-up emotions. This is an Instant “Ahah!”.

(6) Receiving: at each new step, each Felt Shift, taking a moment to sit with the new “intuitive feel,” simply acknowledging and appreciating your own inner knowing for this new insight. Then, you can start again at step (5), Asking another open-ended question, (“And what is so important about this?”; “And why did that have me stuck?”; “And where does my mother come into all of this?”, etc.). And, again, step (2), waiting for the Felt Sense to form, step (3) finding a Handle, step (4) Resonating and Checking until there is a Felt Shift, a sense of “That’s it!”, another Instant “Ahah!”.

A First Attempt: Find Out What Is Bothering You

Set aside at least 30 minutes for this first attempt. Remember, Focusing is a skill usually taught in 10 two-hour classes or two weekend workshops —so, if it doesn’t work for you immediately, don’t give up! Find a nearby teacher from the Focusing Institute Listings (www.focusing.org  ) or arrange for phone sessions with Dr. McGuire or another Creative Edge Consultant .

But, some people are natural Focusers and just say, “Oh, yes. I’ve been doing this all my life. Now, I can just do it better, more predictably, whenever I want. Give it a try:
(for audio company, purchase Intuitive Focusing Instructions CD as part of our Self-Help Package at www.cefocusing.com  — leave at least one minute of silence between each instruction)

Step One: Clearing A Space (Relaxation exercise in this case)

—Okay — first, just get yourself comfortable — feel the weight of your body on the chair — loosen any clothing that is too tight —
(one minute)
—Spend a moment just noticing your breathing — don’t try to change it — just notice the breath going in — and out —
(one minute)
—Now, notice where you have tension in your body (pause) —
(one minute)
—Now, imagine the tension as a stream of water, draining out of your body through your fingertips and feet (Pause) —
(one minute)
—Let yourself travel inside of your body to a place of peace —
(one minute)

Step Two: Getting A Felt Sense

—Now, bring to mind an incident or a situation that was troublesome for you this week (pause as long as necessary) — Think about it or get a mental image of it —
(one minute)
—Now, try to set aside all of your thoughts about the situation, and just try to bring back the feeling you had in that situation (pause) — not words, but the “intuitive feel” of yourself in that situation —
(one minute)

Step Three: Finding A Handle

—Now, carefully try to find words or an image for that feeling —
(one minute)

Step Four: Resonating and Checking

—Go carefully back and forth between any words and the “intuitive feel of the whole thing” until you find words or an image that are just right for it —
(one minute)

Step Five: Asking

—Now, gently ask yourself, “What is so hard about this situation for me?”, and wait, at least a minute, to see what comes in your wordless intuition, your whole-body sense —
(one minute)
—Again, carefully find words or an image that exactly fit that whole feeling — going back and forth until the symbols are “just right.”
(one minute)
—Now, imagine what the situation would be like if it were perfectly all right
(one minute)
—Now, ask yourself, “What’s in the way of that?” and, again, don’t answer from your head, what you already know, but wait, as long as a minute, for something new to come in the center of your body, more like a wordless intuition or whole-body sense —
(one minute)
—Again, carefully find words or an image for that, “whatever is in the way” —go back and forth until the symbols are “just right.”
(one minute)
—Now, see if you can find some small step you might be able to take to move yourself in a positive direction — again, don’t answer from your head, the already known, but wait as much as a minute for the wordless, intuitive “feel,” the bodily felt sense of an answer to arise —
(one minute)
—Take a moment, again, to carefully find words or an image for this possible next step — go back and forth until the symbols are “just right.”
(one minute)
—Check with your “intuitive feel,” “Is this right? Is this really something I could try doing?” — If your “intuitive feel” says, “Yes (some sense of release, relaxation), I could try that,” then you can stop here.
—If your “felt sense” says “No, I can’t do that” or “That won’t work,” then ask yourself again, “What small step in the positive direction would work?”, again, waiting quietly, as much as a minute for an intuitive answer to arise, then making words or an image for it — going back and forth until the symbols are “just right.”
(one minute)
—Keep going back and forth between the “intuitive feel” and possible words and images as long as you are comfortable, or until you experience “Ahah! That’s it!”.
(one minute or more)

Step Six: Receiving

—Whether a “solution” has arisen or not, appreciate yourself and your body for taking time with this, trusting that pausing to take time is the important thing — solutions can then arise later.
(one minute)

The crux of change is just spending quiet time paying attention to the “intuitive feel.” If no clear next step arises, just remind yourself that at least you have gotten a clearer sense of the problem. Because you have spent quiet, Intuitive Focusing time with the “feel” of “the whole thing,” you have started a process of change. Something new may “pop up” later, as you go about your day.

Want to share your experience, do Focusing online and get an actual Listening Response, ask questions? Join The Creative Edge Practive yahoo e-support group.

Tell me what you think at cefocusing@gmail.com or comment on this blog below !

Click here to subscribe to our Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!!

Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-E-course

 See Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

See Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

www.cefocusing.com

Comments (61)

By Kathy McGuire, June 28, 2008 9:09 pm

 Summer E-newsletter Slow-Down/Fall Complete E-Course Starts
 
The e-newsletters are slowing down for a summer rest period! In the Fall, the entire year of e-newsletters will recycle as an e-course, three practice opportunities per week, a walk through the Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual and The Complete Focusing Instruction free downloads, and an interweaving of the Creative Edge Focusing (TM) website materials with the work of others within the Focusing community and also in the larger world.
 
If you are just joining us and have never learned Focusing, probably best to start by reading the introduction to Instant “Ahah!” #1: Focusing — Find Out What Is Bothering You, which lays out Gendlin’s basic six steps of Focusing.
 
SUMMER MINI-FOCUSING E-COURSE
 
Reviewing/Previewing A Variety of Exercises to Strengthen Your Focusing Practice
 
And, here, for old timers and newcomers alike, I will give you a suggested Mini-Course of exercises from The Complete Focusing Instructions and Instant “Ahah!”s free downloads available at www.cefocusing.com under Free Resources, then Articles (or downloaded after signing up for this e-newsletter and for e-support group). The exercises are taken from the e-newsletter archives:
 
Relaxation Exercise: Just Noticing

Relaxation Exercise: “At The Beach”

“Clearing A Space” and Finding Peace

Complete Focusing: “How Am I Today?”

Getting A “Felt Sense”: Finding the “Intuitive Feel” of A Situation

Getting A “Felt Sense”: Unraveling “Situation Pile-Ups and Negative Spirals

Holiday Fun and Stress Relief?: Free Personality Tests and Focusing Reminders

Getting A “Felt Sense”: Creating A Caring, Feeling Presence Inside

 Getting A “Felt Sense”: Caring For Unpleasant Parts of Ourself

Getting A “Felt Sense”: Dealing with Inner Abusers, Inner Critics

Getting A “Felt Sense”: Focusing about Unresolved Interpersonal Situations

Complete Focusing: “Sitting With” The Creative Edge of an Interpersonal Situation

comment on this blog below !

Free Downloads: 

Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages)

“Ajas” Instantaneos Mini-Manual

Creative Edge Focusing (www.cefocusing.com ) teaches two basic self-help skills, Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening, which can be applied at home and at work through The Creative Edge Focusing Pyramid.

Based upon Gendlin’s Experiential Focusing (www.focusing.org ) and Rogers’ Empathic Listening, our website is packed with Free Resources and instructions in these basic self-help skills. Learn how to build Support Groups, Conscious Relationships, and Creative Edge Organizations based upon these basic skills of emotional intelligence.

You can try out    “Focusing: Find Out What Is Bothering You.”

Click here to subscribe to Creative Edge Focusing(TM)’s  Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!! 

Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-Course

Click here for a free Focused Listening Mini-Course

 See  Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

See  Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

www.cefocusing.com

Comments (0)

By Kathy McGuire, June 26, 2008 6:19 pm

A “GIFT” FROM SUZANNE NOEL AT CREATIVE EDGE PRACTICE E-GROUP

“Guiding In” Focusing Instructions for Help Entering the Bodily “Felt Sense,” the “Intuitive Feel” of “It All”

With her permission to share, I have copied some “Guiding In” Focusing Instructions that Suzanne Noel offered to someone in our Creative Edge Practice e-group (join us for actual Listening/Focusing practice at http://yahoogroups.com/group/creativeedgepractice  ). Many of the “Guiding In” Responses are equivalent to Focusing Invitations as explained in the instructions for Focused Listening at Creative Edge Focusing (TM). But, here, the Intuitive Focuser  can give “guiding in” instructions to herself, without the help of an external Listener.

Suzanne was careful to say that she usually sticks with just giving Reflective Listening Response, but, if the Focuser seems to have a strong “bodily felt sense” or “intuitive feel” of an issue but is having trouble getting out of “story” and “into” the “felt sense,” then “Guiding In” can be helpful.

I love the term! Usually, people talk about “guiding” a Focuser, but this term, “guiding in” makes it so clear that the Listener is ONLY trying to guide the Focuser more deeply into their own bodily “intuitive feel” — is not giving answers or guidance or advise, just “guiding in,” so the Focuser can find their own solution as the “intuitive feel” unfolds and carries forward.

As I read Suzanne’s instructions, I naturally felt “guided in” to my own issues, leaving head/story and going toward the “whole felt sense of it,” waiting, holding, being compassionate, even offering my own physical comfort by touching any painful place —- Wow!!!! Just powerful instructions for deepening!!!! I’d suggest printing them out and keeping them handing, even carrying them in your wallet/purse!!!!

Suzanne said:” If you want some Focusing “guiding in”, I offer it below. If it feels intrusive,
honor your self and disregard my invitation!If it is OK to do so (Kathy adds: after

I invite you to gently hold “all this” about “(Whatever your issue/concern is)”. Hold it all as a whole, standing back from it a bit.

If it feels alright to do so, turn your attention inward.

Is ALL THIS present somewhere inside?

From a space of quiet awareness, WAIT.
Notice if anything emerges from this inside space,
a felt sense, a felt experience of All of THAT.

As something begins to come, be with it until it comes into “focus”.

(If anxiety is present, this may melt a bit as you enter the felt sense that is emerging.)

See if you can symbolize that Something that is emerging with an image, metaphor, gesture, sound, a certain emotional mood… even a memory may come up.

So,
here, you may just want to be with this, what’s here now.
It usually unfolds and offers up meaning just by being with it.

Sometimes, it is helpful to ask it certain questions:
What is the crux (or the worst) of this?
(Wait.)
What does it need?
(Wait.)

Any small shift/insight is welcome. Good enough for now, especially if this is a big or long-term issue/concern. You may even allow yourself to lay your hand where you are holding it all in your body (as suggested in the Bio-Spiritual style of Focusing). Keep it company in this physically felt way.

You may want to see if you can be kind to yourself with this (or to the felt experience of ALL THIS).
If not kind, can you be compassionate?
If not compassionate, Friendly?
If not Friendly, can you be Patient with yourself with all this? Allow yourself or your felt sense to receive some of this Self Empathy.

If none comes to you, ask yourself: Can I appreciate how difficult it is to change this when I can’t be kind or friendly or compassionate or patient with myself?

~~~~~*~~~~~

Suzanne L. Noël, CFT
Insight & Recovery Focusing
http://www.innerwisdoms.com  Thanks, Suzanne, for helping us to “keep company with ourselves” this summer!

Tell me what you think at cefocusing@gmail.com or comment on this blog below !

Click here to subscribe to our Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!!

 See Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

See Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

www.cefocusing.com

Comments (6)

By Kathy McGuire, March 6, 2008 1:33 pm

Capitulo Tres: El Intercambio de Escucha

Chapter Three: Listening/Focusing Exchange

Click links for free downloads of word file of manual chapter

THE LISTENING/FOCUSING EXCHANGE

The basic, core model for interpersonal forms of Gendlin’s Focusing is the Focusing Partnership: the equal exchange of turns between peer counselors. One person uses Focusing to pay attention to the murky “intuitive feel,” the “felt sense” of an issue or problem needing solving. The other person responds with Empathic Listening, simply trying to “say back” or “reflect” the words of the Focuser, with emphasis upon the “feeling tone” and the murky, unclear Edge. The Listener might also give Focusing Invitations to help the Focuser go more deeply into the “felt sense” of the issue. 

Then, after the designated time is up, the two share feedback about being the Focuser and being the Listener in that turn, then switch roles. The first Focuser now becomes the Listener, and the initial Listener becomes the Focuser, for an equal period of time.

THE FOCUSING PARTNERSHIP PROGRAM

Gendlin’s international Focusing Institute offers a Focusing Partnership program, a way in which people can form Focusing Partnerships for face-to-face or phone Focusing Partnership sessions world-wide. Those with no initial Listening/Focusing training can participate in two paid training sessions in numerous languages and by phone. Then they can join the Focusing Partnership pool. Click here to find all about the Focusing Partnership Program at The Focusing Institute website.

SELF-HELP MANUAL TEACHING FOCUSING PARTNERSHIP

I have taught Focusing Partnership, which I have called the Listening/Focusing Exchange for thirty years, since my own initial experience of Focusing Partnership in the original Changes Listening/Focusing Community in Chicago starting in 1968. My manual, Focusing In Community: How To Start A Listening/Focusing Support Group (Focusing En  Comunidad: Como Empezar Un Grupo De Apoyo De Escucha Y Focusing) includes thorough instructions in how to do Focusing Partnerships and how to include them within a Focusing Group/Team/Community. 

Download the complete Chapter Three: The Listening/Focusing Exchange (Capitulo Tres: El Intercambio de Escucha) from the manual to begin exploring these wonderful self-help tools. Use the links at the top of this blog.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

www.cefocusing.com

The site of new insights and creative solutions is at the edge of what is already known. This edge, The Creative Edge, holds implicit within it all past and future knowing about the problem, more than could ever be put into words in a linear way