Posts tagged: untangling desire

SEX FOR SENIORS: BETTER SEX FOR A LIFETIME

By , November 30, 2008 3:30 pm

Free Downloads:

Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages)

Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual

“Ajas” Instantaneos Mini-Manual 

Okay, believe it our not, I found this in my AARP newsletter: gentle but sexy, educational and fun DVDs especially for those middle-aged and older. Real couples having real sex, overcoming issues of aging, gently introducing postures, fantasy play, G-Spot stimulation, and more to bring the spice into love-making.

You’ll learn, laugh, get turned on, and thoroughly enjoy these gentle videos. Here is the link for the 2-DVD Great Sex For A Lifetime set that makes a great starter, and don’t neglect to click on the “Free Gift With Purchase” link for more freebies  to go with your purchase.

Of course, for lasting intimacy, we at Creative Edge Focusing recommend our self-help skills, Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening. See our easy Mini-Courses on Conflict Resolution and Intimacy below.

Tell me what you think at cefocusing@gmail.com or comment on this blog below !

Click here to subscribe to our Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!!

Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-E-course

 See Core Concept: Conflict Resolution to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

See Core Concept: Intimate Relationship to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the “Sharing Your Day” exercise, Listening/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

www.cefocusing.com

CREATIVE EDGE SEXUALITY — TANTRIC SEXUALITY

By , June 4, 2008 12:56 pm

Sacred Spot Massage  Click here for free download of Word article giving explicit information about Tantric Sexuality

TANTRA: THE ART OF CONSCIOUS LOVING

In ancient India sex was studied as an art form. It was known that sexual energy was a sacrament that, rightly used, would bring great harmony and joy in one’s marriage, so that love would continue to grow over the course of a lifetime, deeply bonding the partners in joyous union.” – Charles and Carolyn Muir

In their book, Tantra: The Art of Conscious Loving and the DVD of the same name, Charles and Carolyn Muir (www.sourcetantra.com ), foremost teachers of Tantric Yoga, introduce the sacred sexual acts studied as an art and an expression of spirituality since ancient times. This “art of loving” has been lost to modern day lovers. The Muirs, in passionate and entertaining style re-teach these arts and skills of conscious loving. The DVD includes beautiful New Age art illustrating the yin/yang energy of tantra. This is a gentle introduction with little explicit sexuality.

In another DVD, “Secrets of Female Sexual Ecstasy,” available from Source School of Tantra, the Muirs teach and demonstrate the actual location and massage of the female “sacred spot,” the G-spot, and Sacred Spot orgasm. You will be onsite at one of their workshops on the beautiful beaches of Hawaii. This is very sexually explicit.

You can find these and other resources to purchase at their Store, http://www.tantrastoreonline.com/ For free articles and descriptions of Weekend and Vacation Tantric Yoga workshops, see the website at www.sourcetantra.com

 In Creative Edge Sexuality, partners can combine self-help skills of Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening, in weekly Focusing Partnership Exchanges as well as right in the moment of sexual experience, for deep exploration of positive and negative experiences related to sexuality and also for the kind of open, respectful communication which creates the relational intimacy which grounds sexuality in Conscious Loving. Please see our Interest Area: Conscious Relationships to explore the Creative Edge Focusing(TM) model, The Way of Relationship.

EDUCATING YOUNG LOVERS and RECOVERING FROM SEXUAL ABUSE

Major problems with sexuality in relationships can happen throughout life. In our culture, young lovers get little education on how to proceed in mutually-satisfying lovemaking and little instruction or permission in the kind of open, honest communication necessary for satisfying sexuality. They simply flounder around for years, hurting each other’s feelings, building up walls of anger, frustration, and humiliation. Many women’s initial sexual experiences, if not in actual childhood sexual abuse through incest, take place in “date rape” situations, with little commitment, communication, or attention to mutual satisfaction. And male children are also often victims of sexual abuse.

In Jean Auel’s Clan of the Cave Bear series, she imagines an Ice-Age culture where the most empathic, sensitive young men are trained in the art of initiating the teenage women into sexual ecstasy. Both men and women enter marriage with knowledge of the skills and arts needed for sexual intimacy and satisfaction. Reading Auel’s descriptions, one hungers for a culture where sexual “secrets” are introduced with respect and sensitivity.

Because of issues of sexual abuse inherent in the concept of “older initiators” into sexual intimacy, such a model is not recommended in our culture. However, one would wish for same-sex explicit classes on sexual satisfaction in schools or, perhaps like Drivers’Education, provided optionally by outside Health Educators.

In Margo Anand’s book, The Art of Sexual Ecstasy, you will find many specific exercises that lovers can do together to heal sexual abuse body-memories, recovering joy and intimacy in their relationship. This may be the best we can do to restore conscious and sensitive attention to our sensuality and sexuality. See also my blog Creative Edge Sexuality: Healing From Sexual Abuse,  for many more resources for individuals and couples overcoming sexual abuse histories.

For a Mini-Course on intimacy, sensuality, and sexuality, of which this is the latest addition, look in the sidebar of my blog for the Category: Sex. Open that Category, scroll down to the very bottom blog, the earliest, and work your way up to the most recent ones. You will read about Sharing Your Day as a method for Instant Intimacy, Scheduling “Dates” For Sexual Intimacy, Dealing with Unequal Desire, Becoming Self-Responsible for Satisfaction and Communication, and much more.

You can also find the Mini-Course at www.cefocusing.com , Category Core Concepts, then click “Intimate Relationship.”

LIFE-LONG ORGASMS

And there are particular problems which appear for post-menopausal women and aging men. As women’s hormones decrease, so too does “libido,” sexual desire, disappear, along with the natural lubricants which allow comfortable intercourse. As men age, they may experience increasing difficulty with erection and ejaculation.

Perhaps instead of testosterone for women and medication for men, G-Spot massage for women, and prostate massage for men, with or without vibrators, can be used to create healthful, wavelike, relaxing orgasms throughout the life span. The information in the downloadable article enhances sexual pleasure and orgasm at any age but can be particularly helpful when changes in hormonal levels seem to decrease desire.

To learn the actual location of the G-Spot, and how to stimulate both G-Spot and Prostate to orgasm, and about quality vibrators and lubricants, download the Word file in the link at the top of this page.

Please visit Interest Area: Conscious Relationship for the Creative Edge FocusingTM full model on how to integrate Listening/Focusing skills into relationships, The Way of Relationship.

Tell me what you think at cefocusing@gmail.com or comment on this blog below !

Click here to subscribe to our Instant “Ahah!” e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!!

 See blogs under Category: Conflict Resolution in the sidebar to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard’s “One Minute Apology,” Patricia Evan’s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon’s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, and much more.

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English and Spanish, from CEF Website

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

www.cefocusing.com

The site of new insights and creative solutions is at the edge of what is already known. This edge, The Creative Edge, holds implicit within it all past and future knowing about the problem, more than could ever be put into words in a linear way 

COLLABORATIVE EDGE SEXUALITY

By , October 20, 2007 10:45 pm

Untangling Desire : Self-Satisfaction Part

Two Last week, I spoke about allowing one partner to “self-satisfy” without judgment and perhaps even with welcoming as a way of accepting  unequal desire.Now I speak about Self-Satisfaction Part Two: taking responsibility for one’s on satisfaction during mutual love-making. You would never arrive at a negotiating table in business without knowing exactly what you want so that you can bargain to get it. Same in the bedroom. No more expectation of “second-guessing,” “mind reading,” disappointment, frustration, anger, performance anxiety.  Each person is responsible for knowing what they want and need in terms of sexual satisfaction and how to make it happen. Then, they may communicate with and teach their partner, but they can also take care of their own sexual needs.   

Through communication and sharing, you may come to all kinds of mutuality of sexual satisfaction. But that is icing on the cake, not anyone else’s responsibility.

Women, Lonnie Barbach, whose initial book was For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality, is a gentle guide to learning how your sexuality works. Her other books include For Each Other and a variety about how to pleasure the other while getting what you need yourself. Here is a link to her many books:  http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b/104-6987695-1101551?initialSearch=1&url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Lonnie+Barbach&Go.x=9&Go.y=12

Men, I will warn that the whole “multiple orgasm” thing should be a choice you make to pursue for your own heightened pleasure, not something you have to do to make adequate love to a woman. Once a woman becomes responsible for understanding her own pleasure, with some erotic massage thrown in for sensuous foreplay, “being able to make love all night” is not necessary.

 

That said, for men and women as couples,  Barbara Keesling is a great author of self-help books, several translated into Spanish as well:

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b/104-4632231-5920735?initialSearch=1&url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Barbara+Keesling&Go.x=8&Go.y=12

 

Best female lubricant (odorless, tasteless, silky, long-lasting): Creme de la Femme, Premiere Enterprises,  Los Angeles, CA  1-800-776-1889 (keep in the fridge)

 

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media Self-Help training, Classes and workshops

Dr. Kathy McGuire, Director

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

www.cefocusing.com

The site of new insights and creative solutions is at the edge of what is already known. This edge, The Creative Edge, holds implicit within it all past and future knowing about the problem, more than could ever be put into words in a linear way 

 

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