{"id":573,"date":"2009-03-04T18:41:58","date_gmt":"2009-03-04T22:41:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/?p=573"},"modified":"2009-03-04T18:56:52","modified_gmt":"2009-03-04T22:56:52","slug":"why-cry-part-4-books-and-articles-on-tears-crying-being-touched-and-being-moved-inner-child-healing-active-grieving-transformation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/why-cry-part-4-books-and-articles-on-tears-crying-being-touched-and-being-moved-inner-child-healing-active-grieving-transformation\/","title":{"rendered":"“WHY CRY?” PART 5: BOOKS AND ARTICLES ON TEARS, CRYING, BEING TOUCHED AND BEING MOVED, INNER CHILD HEALING, ACTIVE GRIEVING, TRANSFORMATION"},"content":{"rendered":"

Articles by Dr. Kathy McGuire: Being Touched and Being Moved, The Alchemy of Grieving, Focusing Inner Child Work, Finding The Meaning of Tears
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\nCrying and vision, crying and opening the heart, crying and connecting (this is such a profound experience when it happens — as a Listener<\/a>, I tear up in empathy with a Focuser<\/a>, who may also be touching on tears, and, in my experience, the walls, the envelopes of flesh separating us simply melt away, and we meet in Buber’s I-Thou space — the two of us and The Something More, The Sacred entering in).
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\nIn my own journey to understand the place of crying, being touched and being moved, particularly, I have found
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\n(a) an early book by William Frey called Crying<\/em>, which, when first published, was a media event. He collected tears in test tubes from people watching a tear-jerker movie, and compared them, their chemical analysis, with “non-emotional” tears, collected questionnaire data on frequency of crying (women five times as often as men!), etc.
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\n(b) The book by Anglican hermit Maggie Ross, The Fountain and The Furnace<\/em>, cited above.
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\n(c) Pema Chodrin’s (Buddhist nun) work on the “way of compassion” as a complement to, for instance, Tolle’s “way of enlightenment.” While much of Eastern philosophy seems to emphasize “detachment,” “objectivity,” Chodrin talks about going DOWN into the morass of human pain and living through it and into it, with other humans, with compassion.
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\n(d) William Gaylin, Feelings: Our Vital Signs<\/em> (Harper & Row Perennial, 1979), where he has chapters that are a phenomenology of many different feelings. He has a chapter on “being touched” as a human to human happening, and one on “being moved” as between a human and The Something Greater.
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\nHere are links to some of my articles (all found on my website, www.cefocusing.com , Category Free Resources, then Articles):
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\n<\/strong>“On Tears and Focusing,” <\/strong><\/a>\u00a0a mini-research where Focusers spoke about their experience with tears (I have tons of great quotes!). SHORT BUT SWEET
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\n<\/strong>“Being Touched and Being Moved: The Spiritual Value of Tears”,\u00a0<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0 with lots of quotes about how Focuser value their tears.\u00a0
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\n<\/strong>“Finding The Meaning of Tears,”<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0a book chapter, with more great quotes about how Focusers use their tears and giving actual Focusing exercises for following the path of tears.
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\n<\/strong>“Affect in Focusing and Experiential Therapy”, <\/strong><\/a>containing quotes from dialogue between Gene Gendlin and myself about the value and role of what I call “cathartic unfolding” vs. “sheer, repeating emotions.” THEORETICAL WITH EXAMPLES
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\n<\/strong>“Medical Change Events Through Experiential Focusing,”<\/strong><\/a> including the complete transcript of the 12- minute session (also on my DVD Listening\/Focusing Demonstrations) where a woman goes from depression\/migraine to felt shift, including joyful releasing teariness, and also including my <\/strong>“Five-Minute Grieving”<\/strong><\/a> procedure for helping professionals, immediate application for all physicians and helping professionals.
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\n<\/strong>“Active Grieving Part One,”\u00a0<\/strong><\/a> a perspective on grieving as an alchemical, tranformative\u00a0process
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\n<\/strong>“Active Grieving Part Two,”\u00a0<\/strong><\/a> an actual protocol for active grieving of a loss.
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\n<\/strong>“Focusing Inner Child Work With Abused Clients”,<\/strong><\/a> which is not about tears directly but about the extreme attitude of awareness toward subtle nuances of word or body gesture which can indicate repressed memories of emotional\/sexual\/physical abuse in childhood and the extreme attitude of gentleness needed to allow clients to “be with” and work through, “carry forward,” these painful experiences.
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\nIt was enlightening to me to see how much of my work has this emphasis upon a kind of “going deeper” and “connection” that is associated with even a slight SHEEN OF TEARS in the eyes (sobbing not necessary but welcome!)
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\nGREAT BOOK: WHY GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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\nBy Stephen Post and Jill Neimark, Why Good Things Happen To Good People: The Exciting New Research That Proves The Link Between Doing Good And Living A Longer, Healthier, Happier Life, Broadway Books, 2007. Read about the Ways of Celebration, Generativity, Forgiveness, Courage, Humor, Respect, Compassion, Loyalty, Creativity , and
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\nChapter 11: The Way of Listening: Offer Deep Presence
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\nSee more at the author’s organization site, <\/strong>Unlimited Love Institute<\/strong><\/a>.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n

CREATIVE EDGE FOCUSING(tm): \u00a0SELF-HELP SKILLS FOR HOME AND WORK<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

Free Downloads:<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Instant \u201cAhah!\u201d Mini-Manual<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/div>\n

Complete Focusing Instructions Manual (17 pages)<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cAjas\u201d Instantaneos Mini-Manual<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

Creative Edge Focusing (<\/strong>www.cefocusing.com<\/strong><\/span><\/a> ) teaches two basic self-help skills, <\/strong>Intuitive Focusing<\/strong><\/span><\/a> and <\/strong>Focused Listening<\/strong><\/span><\/a>, which can be applied at home and at work through <\/strong>The Creative Edge Focusing Pyramid<\/strong><\/span><\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Based upon Gendlin\u2019s Experiential Focusing (<\/strong>www.focusing.org<\/strong><\/span><\/a> )\u00a0and Rogers\u2019 Empathic Listening, our website is packed with Free Resources and instructions in these basic self-help skills. Learn\u00a0how to build S<\/strong>upport Groups<\/strong><\/span><\/a>, <\/strong>Conscious Relationships<\/strong><\/span><\/a>, and <\/strong>Creative Edge Organizations <\/strong><\/span><\/a>based upon these basic skills of emotional intelligence.<\/strong><\/p>\n

You can try out\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0<\/strong>\u201cFocusing: Find Out What Is Bothering You.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

Click here to subscribe to\u00a0Creative Edge Focusing(TM)\u2019s \u00a0Instant \u201cAhah!\u201d e-newsletter and get the latest exercises first!!!<\/strong><\/span><\/a>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Click here for a free Intuitive Focusing Mini-Course<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

Click here for a free Focused Listening Mini-Course<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0See \u00a0<\/strong>Core Concept: Conflict Resolution<\/strong><\/span><\/a>\u00a0to find a complete mini-course on Interpersonal Focusing and Conflict Resolution, including Rosenberg\u2019s Non-Violent Communication, Blanchard\u2019s \u201cOne Minute Apology,\u201d Patricia Evan\u2019s books on Verbally Abuse and Controlling Relationships, McMahon\u2019s Beyond The Myth Of Dominance, <\/em>and much more.<\/strong><\/p>\n

See\u00a0 <\/strong>Core Concept: Intimate Relationship<\/strong><\/span><\/a> to find a complete mini-course on increasing intimacy and sexuality, including the \u201cSharing Your Day\u201d exercise, Listening\/Focusing Partnerships for The Way of Relationship, untangling and equalizing desire, tantric sexuality, and much more.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Download complete Instant \u201cAhah!\u201d Mini-Manual, in <\/strong>English<\/strong><\/span><\/a> and <\/strong>Spanish<\/strong><\/span><\/a>, from CEF Website, or download from links at top of this blog.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Find links to <\/strong>free articles, personality tests, multi-media\u00a0Self-Help training, Classes and workshops<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

Dr. Kathy McGuire<\/strong><\/span><\/a>, Director<\/strong><\/p>\n

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

www.cefocusing.com<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Many books and articles lead to acceptance of tears as transformative and spiritually meaningful, including Frey, Crying, Gaylin, Feelings: Our Vital Signs, Ross, The Fountain and The Furnace, and Chodrin’s The Way of Compassion. Dr. McGuire also lists her own many articles on tears, inner child healing, afect in Experiential Focusing Therapy, “being touched and being moved,” and Active Grieving.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32,12,17,10,13,4,11,70],"tags":[562,447,554,553,482,181,52,163,744,627,632,745,633,74,634,635],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/573"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=573"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/573\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":579,"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/573\/revisions\/579"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=573"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=573"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=573"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}