{"id":5,"date":"2007-10-15T14:09:19","date_gmt":"2007-10-15T18:09:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/?p=5"},"modified":"2008-05-28T18:06:00","modified_gmt":"2008-05-28T22:06:00","slug":"unequal-desire-make-self-satisfaction-completely-ok","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/unequal-desire-make-self-satisfaction-completely-ok\/","title":{"rendered":"Unequal Desire? Make Self-Satisfaction Completely OK"},"content":{"rendered":"

Collaborative Edge Sexuality: Negotiation Among Equals For Win\/Win Solutions<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/strong><\/o:p><\/span>\u00a0<\/o:p><\/font><\/span>In Unequal Desire? Try Erotic Massage a few days ago, \u00a0\u00a0I spoke about unequal sexual desire and making three dates per week, starting with massage for the weary, if need be—<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/o:p><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/o:p><\/span>Un-“Coupling” Desire and Satisfaction<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/o:p><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/o:p><\/span>But what if desire is still unequal? What if one partner would happily have sex every day; the other much less frequently—<\/span><\/strong><\/o:p><\/span>\u00a0<\/o:p><\/span>What if your partner gets turned on just watching you undress for bed – and you are only thinking of going to sleep?<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/o:p><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/o:p><\/span>You are not responsible for satisfying your partner’s desire—but, you should also not stand in the way.<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><\/o:p><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/o:p><\/span>Self- Satisfaction needs to become completely accepted, not to be hidden or scorned—It can be celebrated by the other, even if the other only wants minimal participation, or none—and, sometimes, it might surprise the other with their own desire—<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/o:p><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/o:p><\/span>Only do what feels “okay” —but don’t be stopped by society’s “taboos”<\/strong><\/span><\/o:p><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/o:p><\/span>Check with your “intuitive feel,” your “felt sense” of each new situation (learn Intuitive Focusing at http:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/coreconcepts\/1a1.php<\/a>). While your lover self-satisfies, might you be willing to do a slow strip-tease?—or dance for your lover?—or tease them with a feather boa?—or a touch on the inner thigh? Perhaps you are only willing to sit in a provocative pose while you read your book—or, perhaps, this day, you would rather leave and go check your email—or go to sleep—or perhaps your partner would rather go out into the garden, in company of the night sounds and breezes—<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/o:p><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/o:p><\/span>Then or at another time, share from your “felt sensing” about “self-satisfaction.”<\/span><\/strong> <\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/strong>We all have a lot of past history, taboos, and also sensuous experiences to share.<\/span><\/strong><\/o:p><\/span>\u00a0<\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

Sharing Sets The Stage And Keeps The Curtain Open<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

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At Creative Edge Focusing (TM), <\/font>www.cefocusing.com<\/font><\/a> , you can download the free Instant “Ahah!” manual, in the sidebar after subscribing to our\u00a0e-newsletter, but also in Free Resources under Long Articles. It gives you ten simple exercises you can incorporate into your every day life.<\/font><\/strong><\/o:p><\/span><\/o:p><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/o:p><\/span>Use Instant “Ahah!” #8, “Sharing Your Day: Instant Intimacy”<\/em> to keep the door to further intimacy open. <\/span><\/strong>Use Instant “Ahah!” #3, “Passive Listening: Stop arguments”<\/em> for five-minute uninterrupted turns to communicate about sex or anything else.<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/strong>Visit www.cefocusing.com<\/a> to learn about Intuitive Focusing, Focused Listening, and how to use\u00a0Focusing Partnership turns and Interpersonal Focusing turns for ongoing communication and conflict resolution.<\/em><\/span><\/strong>Okay, I’m nervous about posting this, but, if you have comments, out with them!<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/strong>Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media\u00a0Self-Help training, Classes and workshops<\/font><\/a><\/strong><\/span><\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Dr. Kathy McGuire<\/font><\/a>, Director<\/span><\/strong> <\/span><\/strong>Creative Edge Focusing (TM)<\/font><\/a><\/span><\/strong>www.cefocusing.com<\/font><\/a><\/span><\/strong>The site of new insights and creative solutions is at the edge of what is already known. This edge, The Creative Edge, holds implicit within it all past and future knowing about the problem, more than could ever be put into words in a linear way\u00a0<\/p>\n

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Collaborative Edge Sexuality: Negotiation Among Equals For Win\/Win Solutions \u00a0In Unequal Desire? Try Erotic Massage a few days ago, \u00a0\u00a0I spoke about unequal sexual desire and making three dates per week, starting with massage for the weary, if need be—\u00a0Un-“Coupling” Desire and Satisfaction\u00a0But what if desire is still unequal? What if one partner would happily […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,7,5],"tags":[740,741,83,240,91,744,239,739,242],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}