{"id":20,"date":"2007-10-20T22:45:13","date_gmt":"2007-10-21T02:45:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/?p=20"},"modified":"2008-03-19T12:11:51","modified_gmt":"2008-03-19T16:11:51","slug":"collaborative-edge-sexuality","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/collaborative-edge-sexuality\/","title":{"rendered":"COLLABORATIVE EDGE SEXUALITY"},"content":{"rendered":"

Untangling Desire : Self-Satisfaction Part <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Two<\/o:p><\/span><\/strong>\u00a0<\/o:p><\/span><\/strong><\/o:p><\/span><\/strong>Last week, I spoke about allowing one partner to \u201cself-satisfy\u201d without judgment and perhaps even with welcoming as a way of accepting\u00a0\u00a0unequal desire.<\/span><\/strong>Now I speak about Self-Satisfaction Part Two: taking responsibility for one\u2019s on satisfaction during mutual love-making.<\/o:p><\/span><\/strong>\u00a0<\/o:p><\/span><\/strong><\/o:p><\/span><\/strong><\/o:p><\/span><\/strong><\/o:p><\/span><\/strong>You would never arrive at a negotiating table in business without knowing exactly what you want so that you can bargain to get it. Same in the bedroom. No more expectation of \u201csecond-guessing,\u201d \u201cmind reading,\u201d disappointment, frustration, anger, performance anxiety.\u00a0<\/o:p><\/span><\/strong>\u00a0<\/o:p><\/span><\/strong><\/o:p><\/span><\/strong><\/o:p><\/span><\/strong><\/o:p><\/span><\/strong>Each person is responsible for knowing what they want and need in terms of sexual satisfaction and how to make it happen. Then, they may communicate with and teach their partner, but they can also take care of their own sexual needs.<\/o:p><\/span><\/strong>\u00a0<\/o:p><\/span><\/strong> \u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Through communication and sharing, you may come to all kinds of mutuality of sexual satisfaction. But that is icing on the cake, not anyone else\u2019s responsibility.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Women,\u00a0Lonnie Barbach, whose initial book was For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality,\u00a0<\/em>is a gentle guide to learning how your sexuality works.\u00a0Her other books\u00a0include For Each Other <\/em>and a variety about how to pleasure the other while getting what you need yourself. Here is a link to her many books:\u00a0\u00a0<\/o:p><\/span><\/strong><\/o:p><\/span><\/strong>http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/s\/ref=nb_ss_b\/104-6987695-1101551?initialSearch=1&url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Lonnie+Barbach&Go.x=9&Go.y=12<\/a><\/p>\n

Men, I will warn that the whole “multiple orgasm” thing should be a choice you make to pursue for your own heightened pleasure, not something you have to do to make adequate love to a woman. Once a woman becomes responsible for understanding her own pleasure, with some erotic massage thrown in for sensuous foreplay, “being able to make love all night” is not necessary.<\/p>\n

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That said, for men and women as couples,\u00a0 Barbara Keesling is a great author of self-help books, several translated into Spanish as well:<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/s\/ref=nb_ss_b\/104-4632231-5920735?initialSearch=1&url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Barbara+Keesling&Go.x=8&Go.y=12<\/a><\/p>\n

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Best female lubricant (odorless, tasteless, silky, long-lasting): Creme de la Femme, Premiere Enterprises,\u00a0 Los Angeles, CA\u00a0 1-800-776-1889 (keep in the fridge)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media\u00a0Self-Help training, Classes and workshops<\/font><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Dr. Kathy McGuire<\/font><\/a>, Director<\/p>\n

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)<\/font><\/a><\/p>\n

www.cefocusing.com<\/font><\/a><\/p>\n

The site of new insights and creative solutions is at the edge of what is already known. This edge, The Creative Edge, holds implicit within it all past and future knowing about the problem, more than could ever be put into words in a linear way\u00a0<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Untangling Desire : Self-Satisfaction Part Two\u00a0Last week, I spoke about allowing one partner to \u201cself-satisfy\u201d without judgment and perhaps even with welcoming as a way of accepting\u00a0\u00a0unequal desire.Now I speak about Self-Satisfaction Part Two: taking responsibility for one\u2019s on satisfaction during mutual love-making.\u00a0You would never arrive at a negotiating table in business without knowing exactly […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[254,253,251,83,249,255,91,744,252,239,739,250],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}