{"id":107,"date":"2008-03-28T13:38:03","date_gmt":"2008-03-28T17:38:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/?p=107"},"modified":"2008-03-28T13:38:03","modified_gmt":"2008-03-28T17:38:03","slug":"instant-intimacy-finding-partners-deepening-sensuality","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/instant-intimacy-finding-partners-deepening-sensuality\/","title":{"rendered":"INSTANT INTIMACY, FINDING PARTNERS, DEEPENING SENSUALITY"},"content":{"rendered":"

Instant “Ahah!” #8: Instant Intimacy: Sharing Your Day\u00a0
\n\u00a0
\n<\/strong>This four weeks, the exercise is to be done between committed partners, friends, family members. It is a basis for keeping intimacy alive in long-term relationships. I will also share what I know about how this intimate sharing can carry over into increased sensuality\/sexuality.
\n\u00a0
\nBut I will also teach what I know about finding a Focusing-Oriented partner.
\n\u00a0
\nHere is the basic exercise. It is extremely simple. Perhaps you are already doing this with your significant other. Perhaps all you have to say is “Let’s try this,” and you and your partner will make it happen. However, perhaps it will seem impossible to get from where you are now to this kind of sharing. Or maybe you don’t even have a significant other. We will spend four weeks working on overcoming these obstacles! For today, read with your significant other, if you have one, and start practicing as many days of the week as you can.
\n\u00a0
\nIf you don’t have a significant other, or you can’t imagine bringing this idea up with yours, you can begin using Instant “Ahah!” #1, Focusing: Find Out What Is Bothering You\u00a0<\/a> to explore the “felt sense” of this whole issue for you, look at “What is in the way—?”,” and look for a\u00a0 possible first step:
\n\u00a0
\n\u00a0
\ninstant “ahah!” 8
\n\u00a0
\nSharing Your Day : Instant\u00a0 Intimacy
\n\u00a0
\n\u00a9 Kathleen McGuire, Ph.D., 2007
\nCreative Edge Focusing \u2122
\n<\/strong>www.cefocusing.com<\/strong><\/a>
\n\u00a0
\nTime = Love
\n\u00a0
\n<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 With your significant other: Every day, and I mean religiously, set aside about 40 minutes to sit down and “share your day.” Get a drink or a snack or go in the hot tub -an uninterrupted space away from other family members. It might only take 20 minutes, but it is ideal to have plenty of time available.
\n\u00a0
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 At a separate time, you can also do this with your children, each person having an uninterrupted turn.
\n\u00a0
\nJust Warm, Silent Attention: No Interruptions, No Criticism
\n\u00a0
\n<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Each person gets to talk without interruption, refreshing in his\/her own mind and describing to the other the events of the day, usually in chronological order, often starting with the night before: anxieties, dreams. The speaker gets to share every event of the day which rises to consciousness, no matter how trivial it seems. This can easily take about twenty minutes
\n\u00a0
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The other person simply listens quietly, not saying a word (Well, maybe an occasional “Wow!” or “How interesting!” or “Oh, no!” or “Yikes!”).
\n\u00a0
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Then, when the first speaker is done, it is the other person’s turn – same deal: No interruptions, no opinions, no judgments.
\n\u00a0
\nNo Problem Solving
\n\u00a0
\n<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 And no problem solving. At least initially, save problem solving for another time, or do it before or after.\u00a0 Too easily, problem solving can eat up the sharing space, and intimacy is lost. Problem solving can also bring up conflicts, not wanted in this sharing space. And fear of problem solving can make people dread sharing time, instead of looking forward to this peaceful, intimate lull in a busy day.
\n\u00a0
\nIntimacy = Sharing
\n\u00a0
\n<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 That’s it!!!\u00a0 You will thoroughly understand what your significant other does all day, the frustrations, the tedium, the other people in his or her world, the small joys, the conflicts, the stresses, the successes, the low points, the high points.\u00a0 And each person will feel that their life is valid and valuable, no matter how trivial or repetitious it may seem to be.
\n\u00a0
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Over time, you will get to know each other intimately, and this intimacy will carry over into other areas of your shared life. Intimacy increases sensuality and sexuality between partners. Intimacy also leads children to turn to their parents when needing help.
\n\u00a0
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Instant “Ahah!” s 2 and 3 show how to use both passive<\/a> and active listening <\/a>for problem solving. But, here, you are using passive listening simply to let your partner or child be the center of attention. At the same time, the speaker becomes the “center of attention” to him- or her-self, taking the time to fully receive his or her day.<\/p>\n

Download complete Instant “Ahah!” Mini-Manual, in English<\/a> and Spanish<\/a>, from CEF Website<\/strong><\/p>\n

Find links to free articles, personality tests, multi-media\u00a0Self-Help training, Classes and workshops<\/font><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Dr. Kathy McGuire<\/font><\/a>, Director<\/p>\n

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)<\/font><\/a><\/p>\n

www.cefocusing.com<\/font><\/a><\/p>\n

The site of new insights and creative solutions is at the edge of what is already known. This edge, The Creative Edge, holds implicit within it all past and future knowing about the problem, more than could ever be put into words in a linear way\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Instant “Ahah!” #8: Instant Intimacy: Sharing Your Day\u00a0 \u00a0 This four weeks, the exercise is to be done between committed partners, friends, family members. It is a basis for keeping intimacy alive in long-term relationships. I will also share what I know about how this intimate sharing can carry over into increased sensuality\/sexuality. \u00a0 But […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[112],"tags":[291,290,115,293,181,292,91,744,747,92],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=107"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=107"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=107"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cefocusing.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=107"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}