Posts tagged: online Focusing Course

FOCUSING AND WORK: STRESS REDUCTION = FINDING WORDS

By , November 27, 2007 7:25 pm

In the example below, taken from the Case Studies area at Creative Edge Focusing (TM), the Focuser goes from unspecified, work-related anxiety and sleeplessness to being able to name the problem and begin problem solving, using Intuitive Focusing:

 1. Focusing — Alone Or With A Creative Edge Coach or Experiential Focusing Therapist

Anyone who knows Intuitive Focusing, as the core of the PRISMS/S Problem Solving Process,  can use it any time to go from confusion and tension to an absolute sureness of a next step of problem resolution.  This will be a physically experienced “Ahah!”, indicated by the whole body nodding and releasing tension, saying “Yes, this is exactly it! I can act now.”

In my example below, first I use Intuitive Focusing on my own, then, at a certain point, I contract for Focused Listening help from another, my husband in this case. I’m lucky enough to have a trained husband (I trained him!), but, with him, eventually I will want to give equal time:

Case Example:

For several weeks I have been stewing about a work-related problem, stymied, tense, sleepless nights, obsessing. I am concerned that I might be sued if I take a certain action, yet I don’t want to back down. I have even taken steps and spent money to try to protect myself legally. Yet the tension, sleeplessness, obsessing continue. I find myself imagining how I would defend myself in court. I forge ahead, but the emotional cost is very high. The whole project has become draining.

Finally, after weeks, I have the sense to sit down quietly and actively use Intuitive Focusing on the issue. I close my eyes and follow my breathing for a while as a way of relaxing and coming to a quiet, “clear space” inside……I sigh, let go of some tension…..I ask myself, “What is this all about, really?”….I wait quietly for something new, an “intuitive feel” or Creative Edge to come…for me, this Creative Edge usually comes in the center of my body (not my head!), around my heart, chest cavity…..

When an “intuitive feel” comes, I quietly look for some words or an image which begin to grasp it:  “I don’t want to give up….I don’t want to be beaten (there is a teary feeling here)….I have a right to do this”…..I breath some more, checking these words against the “intuitive feel”……I sigh, release some tension……

A new “intuitive feel” comes in the center of my body, around the chest area, in response to these words….I pay attention to it, looking for words or an image that might capture it…….”I can’t go on like this. It is too stressful….”….I sit quietly, holding these words against The Creative Edge, the “intuitive feel”…..

I use the Asking Step of Intuitive Focusing and a question comes: “What can I do to make this less stressful?”….I sit with this question, paying attention in the center of my body…instead of answering from my head, the already-known, I wait for an “intuitive feel” of an answer to form …….I carefully look for words or images to capture the intuitive feel……..I sigh, releasing tension…

I get words in answer which feel like a new “Ahah!”: “Oh, it’s really just about this one small part of the project…….I don’t have to give up everything else, but maybe just that one small part, to reduce the tension”….I check these words against the “intuitive feel”….there is an easing there. I am nodding my head: “Yes, that is really it…That would release the tension, the fear…..”

I get sort of excited here. It’s hard to concentrate. I want to get up and walk anxiously around….I’m not good at doing Focusing alone for very long. I ask my husband, who is trained in Focused Listening and available, if he will be a Focused Listener while I continue this Intuitive Focusing process. It will take 10-20 minutes. He is willing to do this……

I close my eyes and sense into this new place, “It’s really only about this small part”…..I sigh, releasing tension….My husband reflects: “So it’s really only that small part  you have to change. You don’t have to give up the whole thing….Just that part.”……

I’m nodding again, my whole body saying, “Yes, I can really do that if it will get rid of this fear, this draining tension”…..I continue checking this possible solution against the “intuitive feel,” and my whole body keeps saying, “Yes, that much is okay with me. I can do that without feeling beaten.” My husband reflects, “So you are checking, and your whole body says, ‘Yes, that would be okay. I could do that…without feeling beaten’”…….I keep nodding, “Yes, that would be okay.”…I sigh, releasing tension….

We go on for a while, me in problem solving mode now, trying out possible different new choices, continuing to check with the “intuitive feel,” The Creative Edge: “Is this really okay?…Will I be able to sleep at night if I do this?” My husband continues using Focused Listening to reflect what I say, letting me check and clarify….

I finally decide a way that I can keep even that small part now, as long as I prepare myself to give it up later if I have to ……..This seems a good solution (I’m nodding and sighing, releasing tension, my body’s way of saying, “Yes, this really fits. You can really do this.”). We end the formal Listening/Focusing turn.

Throughout the next few days, I have less tension. I can sleep at night. New ideas keep popping up: possible replacements for that “one small part,” etc. I have new energy to move ahead with the whole project. This “small change” possibility also gives me a way to let other people in on my project, without raising the whole anxiety and fear issue, which had been keeping me isolated, unable to share my ideas with other people.

If your goal is only to use Focusing by yourself, you can take a Focusing Training class or workshop from a Focusing Professional found in our Free Resources section.

If you want consistent Focused Listening help, without reciprocating as a Listener in a Focusing Partnership as below, then you can  hire a Creative Edge Focusing Coach  or an Experiential Focusing Therapist (See Listings in Free Resources Section) as a consistent Focused Listener.

If you have a Coaching relationship, you can arrange for Focused Listening by phone, but you can often start Focusing simply by starting to write an email to your Coach on the issue or concern, paying attention inside, using Intuitive Focusing…then, the Coach can send an email back, with Focused Listening responses. This will give you instant help at half the cost!

 Email Dr. McGuire to explore Focusing Coaching or Focusing Partnership phone sessions or to set up a free 20-minute Trial Session. You can explore options and prices in The Store

See our website for many descriptions and exercises for learning Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening, to subscribe to our free e-course/e-newsletter, and to join our online Creative Edge Practice yahoo group for free, supervised practice of actual listening/focusing skills.

Dr. Kathy McGuire

Creative Edge Focusing (TM)

www.cefocusing.com

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